Wrinkly Bits
A Blog by Gail Cushman and Cowboy Bob
Cougars and Hot Irons, Fact or Fantasy?

Gail Decker Cushman

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3 min read

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Jun 21, 2022

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Early this Sunday morning, getting ready for church, I heard my dog Cody barking as if a herd of ground squirrels had invaded his field. I expected to see him barking at something outside, so I walked outside through one of the open doors. Remember, this is Montana and you open all the doors in the morning to let the cool in, and my feisty terrier was barking at the open door leading back to the bedroom.

What the heck, I thought, maybe a snake or a raccoon got in the house, and Cody was sure on the fight, bristled up and bucking off the ground, the length of his short legs with each loud bark, so I carefully eased into the back door, expecting some wild scenario. With my dog now behind me, as he likes to do when things are really bad, having decided that this matter called him to be backup. My 22 was propped right behind the door between the laundry room and the bedroom and with that 22, maybe I had a chance to stop whatever vermin had entered the house. It is hard to be on the sneak when your faithful dog positions himself right between your feet lunging forward, barking and retreating and, man, this could be tense. Maybe it was a mountain lion, there had been reports of big cats here this spring, and a 22 wouldn’t do much good, so in my best sneak crouch, my barking dog, and my hand on my Leatherman, I stepped into the bedroom door.

There, standing in the laundry room was a naked lady over an ironing board that I never knew I had, and she demanded, glaring at me, “How to you turn this on” with an iron in one small hand. Well, boys, I tell you I have seen stranger things, but a naked lady with a hot iron was perhaps the strangest thing I have ever seen and by my blank look and confused embarrassment, she merely commented, “Come on Cowboy, tell me how to get this thing to turned on, so I can iron this dress for church”, she said, with a straight face, then she realized her lack of garments and blushed, but said, “Is this the on button?”

I had no idea about how to turn on the iron, and asked, “Arre you sure that’s safe?” A naked body and a hot iron, but what does this old cowboy know? Maybe ironing naked is what you do, I don’t know. I knew the ironing board was there, but unused for a long time, and, I have never laid a hand on an iron except for the branding kind so maybe she is right and was undressed appropriately. What a sight, an ironing board, a naked lady, a hot iron, and an upset terrier sure started this Sunday off with a bang I tell you, but it did give me another way of thinking about cougars.

From Gail: A Cowboy Bob story, fact or fantasy? Only he knows!
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